:: Brand Names ::

Here is a forwarded joke i found from one of my friend's .

~Sardar's Lingo~

khalistan history .............. SARSON-DA-SAGA
The great wall of khalistan .... LONG-O-WALL
National dish of khalistan ..... AKALI-DAAL
The dirty drain of khalistan ... BAR-NALA
A sikh scuba diver ............. JULL-UNDER SINGH
A better adapted sikh diver .... JULLUNDER SINGH GILL
A bald sardarjee ............... BAL-WANT SINGH

what does a sardarjee say to a whore ? .... WHORE JEE, KI HAL HAI ?

:: Degrees Of Egoism ::

What are the degrees of egoism in Tamil Nadu?
I, Iyer, Iyengar.

:: Desi Twist ::

Sindhi lawyer: Case-wani
Sindhi lawyer after a case: Purse-wani
The blue-skier sindhi: Akash-wani
Supplied in south indian hospitals: Nursing gum
Desi who falls at people's feet: Charan Singh
Desi who falls at peopls' feet and stays there: Gir charan Singh

:: G.Bush & Gujju ::

Q) Why did George Bush had the gujju beaten?
A) The gujju told George Bush "You are an IMPOTENT man"

:: Big Ben ::

Q) Why did the gujju go to London?
A) To see BIG BEHN.

:: 1 Cent ::

Q) Why was the gujju stacking up 1 cent coins on the day before exams ?
A) He wanted to get "cent-par-cent" .

:: Break-Fast ::

Q) What did the Gujju have in the morning?
A) LIGHT SNAKES for breakfast.

:: Bihari's Headache ::

A Bihari after coming back from a three hour long class says:
"Saala pura body headache maar raha hai".

:: Perfect Definitions ::

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.

:: = Equation = ::

7 Glance = 1 Smile
7 Smile = 1 Meeting
7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -
And that 1 Bloody marriage has 777777777777 problems.
So beware of glance!

:: Co-Incidence ::

Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"

Manu: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."

:: Musha-rraf in Tunnel ::

Vajpayee, Musharraf, Madhuri Dixit and Margaret Thatcher are traveling in a train. The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. Thatcher and Vajpayee are sitting there looking perplexed. Musharraf is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Thatcher is thinking: "These Pakistanis are all crazy after Madhuri. Musharraf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him"

Madhuri is thinking: "Musharraf must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Margaret instead and got slapped."

Musharraf is thinking: "Damn! it, Vajpayee must have tried to kiss Madhuri, she thought it was me and slapped! me."

Vajpayee is thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Musharraf again."Musharraf in Tunnel:

:: Delivered ::

Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. The report said, "DELIVERED".

:: Race 2 The Sun ::

Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts. One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."

"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."
And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."

:: Smuggler Sardar ::

A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?' 'Sand,' answered the Sardarji.

Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.'

Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border. A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?' 'Sand,' says the Sardarji.

Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years. Finally, the Sardarji doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad.

'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'

The Sardaji, sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes'.

:: Miserly Santa ::

The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper.

'How much does it cost to have an obituary printed'? asked miser Santa Singh.'It's 50 Rupees a word, sir,' the clerk replied politely.'Fine,' said Santa Singh after a moment. 'Okay then, write this down: 'Banta - dead'.'

'That's all?' asked the clerk disbelievingly.
'That's it.'
'I'm sorry sir, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum.'
'Yes, you should've,' snapped the Santa. Now let me think a minute... okay, here goes: Banta dead. Maruti for Sale.'

:: B'day Treat ::

A man takes his newly turned 16 years-old son to a prostitute as a birthday treat. The sum of 500 rupees was agreed and she took the boy by his arm into her room. Being a nosy fellow and wanting to know that his boy was getting his money's worth the father decides to listen in at the door. Things get underway and very soon the foreplay gives way to intercourse, being quite new to it all the young lad is taking it carefully and stops, (thinking he's hurting her), when he hits the six-inch mark as the woman starts panting and moaning heavily.

Asking her if she's all right, she suddenly exclaims, "If you can give me another inch I'll knock 200 off your bill." The young lad duly complies, 30 seconds later the woman again says, "Give me another inch and I'll knock another 200 off your bill", again the lad duly complies. Yet again, another 30 seconds later the prostitute says to the young lad, "If you can give me another inch, I'll give this one to you for free...”

...at which point the father bursts into the room, pulls his son from between the prostitutes thighs and says, "Stand back Son, time to see your Dad make a profit!"

:: "OverSized" ::

A former prostitute with a rather well used vagina that has been somewhat stretched, is given a proposal of marriage by a man she meets in a bar one night. She thinks it over, and she decides to accept his proposal. Her private parts are somewhat oversized from her former occupation, but she decides to approach the problem after they are married.

On their wedding night, she explains the problem by saying that when she was a small child; she got her privates caught on some barbed wire while climbing over a fence, which explains why her vagina is so big. They make wild and passionate love for most of the night, and in the early hours of the morning, her husband, after regaining his breath, turns to her and says, "I can understand your private parts being stretched by this barbed wire, my dear, but just HOW far across the field were you before you noticed?"

:: Unique Sex ::

A husband and wife were in the bathroom getting ready for work when the husband looked at his wife and said, "I gotta have you!" He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her panties and ravaged her. He knew he was doing great because she screamed and wiggled more than she ever had before. When he finished, he started putting his clothes back on and when he noticed his wife still writhing against the door. He said, "That was the best, honey. You've never moved like that before, you didn't hurt yourself did you?"

His wife replies, "No, no. I'll be OK once I can get the doorknob out of my ass."

:: 1st Night ::

A young couple was married, and celebrated their first night together, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long. Morning comes and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower. He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom. When she gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door, exposing his body for the first time to his bride where she sees all of him well.

Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped and stared, and she asked shyly, "What's THAT?", pointing to a small part of his anatomy. He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night."

And she, in amazement asked, "Is that all we have left?"

:: LA 9t Service ::

A guy went to Vegas for the first time in his life. He was very curious about the sex services offered there. Through a bellboy, he found the best in town. When the lady came, he asked, "How much is your service?"
The lady said, "$100 for a hand job.” "What? Why so expensive?" the guy asked in amazement.

The lady pulled the guy to the window and asked him, "Do you see that shiny red Porsche down there? That's what I earned by my hand!" The guy was convinced and decided to try her service. It was great! So he asked, "What else can you do?"

The lady said, "For $200 I'll give you a blowjob."

"What? That's way too expensive for a blow job!" he replied. The lady brought him to the window again, and said, "Do you see the restaurant down there? That's what I've earned with my mouth!" So the guy decided to go for it and gave her $200. It was unbelievable! So he decided he wanted to try the "real" thing. So he asked, "How much for real intercourse?"

The lady pulled him over to the window again, and said, "Do you see that skyscraper there? It would have been mine a long time ago if I had a pussy!"

:: Lingerie Models ::

Santa goes into the employment office in Chandigarh, there aren't many jobs so it doesn't take him long. Then, just as he's on his way out, he spots something.

"Wanted," it says, "Single man, willing to travel, must have own scissors. Rs 1000 per day guaranteed, plus other benefits." Well, it sounds a bit too good to be true, but he makes a note and walks up at the counter. "I'd like to apply for this job," Santa says. "Oh, that one," says the clerk. "It's a model agency right here in Chandigarh. They're looking for a pubic hair snipper. You see, they supply girls who model underwear and bathing suits, and before they go on the catwalk, they'd report to you and you have to snip off any wisps of pubic hair that are showing.

"Wow! That's great," said Santa.

It pays well, but there are a few drawbacks. It involves quite a lot of travel and you have to get used to expense account living in first-class hotels."

"I reckon I could learn to live with all that," says Santa. "I'd really like to apply for the job." The clerk shrugs and says, "OK, here's an application form and a ticket to Ludhiana."

"Ludhiana? What do I wanna go to Ludhiana for?"

"Well," says the clerk, "that's where the end of the application line is at the moment!"

:: Banta`s Sex Life ::

Banta is sitting in his local bar with his buddies, sharing a beer and bragging about his sex life.

He says, I have great sex with my wife. She's very vocal, she can really rattle the windows, and most of it really turns me on."

"I love it when she screams, 'Harder!'"

"I love it when she screams, 'Faster!'"

"Man, you lucky dog!" says his one buddy. "But tell the truth, isn't there sometimes a problem with your sex life?"

"The only problem I have..." Banta said dejectedly, "Is when she screams, 'Deeper!'"

:: Rambling Rose ::

A man takes a lady out to dinner for the first time. Later they go on to a show.
The evening is a huge success and as he drops her at her door he says, "I have had a lovely time. You looked so beautiful, you remind me of a beautiful rambling rose. May I call on you tomorrow?"

She agrees and a date is made.

The next night he knocks on her door and when she opens it she slaps him hard across the face. He is stunned. "What was that for?" he asked.

She said, "I looked up rambling rose in the encyclopedia last night and it said 'Not well suited to bedding but is excellent for rooting up against a garden wall' "

:: WORLD SURVEY ::

A recent survey asked 100 Sexually active men what they most enjoyed about a blow job. 99.9% said' "The 10 minutes silence."

:: Leeeeeee ::

What would be the name of a Chinese Prostitute?
Sabne Lee.

:: ~Kiss~ ::

What is a kiss ?
Kiss is an enquiry in the first floor, about vacancy in the Ground Floor.

:: 24 Carrots ::

Why do women love gold more than man?
Because Gold has 24. Carrots while man has only one Carrot.

:: Expired Milk ::

A 20 year old boy gets married to a 65 year old lady.
The next day after marriage, the boy dies.
Reason: He drank expired milk.

:: iN sTyLe ::

Today, in style are small cars, small watches, short skirts, and small mobile phones.

There will come a time, when the SMALL PENIS will be in style, & then YOU will be the man!!!!!!

:: ? ::

What is the thing that goes in dry & comes out wet ?
More you put it in, the stronger it gets.
Men and women enjoy it in Bed ????

- - - - - Tea Bag !!!

:: Poor Fellas ::

What's common to a Man on Tight rope at 500 mtr height & man getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady?

Poor fellas - both must not look down!!!!!!

:: Fone Call ::

A sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says " Hello, how did you know I was here?"

:: Sardar's Height O' Imagination ::

A sardar was walking along, when he looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird dropped a load when it was directly over him.

The Sardar says, "Good thing that cows don't fly."

:: Order! Order! Order! ::

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order, order". The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you,your honour, I'll have a scotch and soda."

:: Re-Union ::

'For twenty years my husband and I were very happy'. 'What happened then?'

'We met'.

:: Sardar & Tapori ::

Sardar and wife were waiting at signal, a tapori comes aside and says "wah paaji kya rakhel hai?"

sardar gets furious and says " Oye rahkel hogi teri meri tho biwi hai!.

:: Lost Panties ::

A lady lost 3 panties in her house. She asks her husband but he didn't know.
Husband asked the maid. Maid replied "Saab aapko to maloom hai main kuch nahin pahenti."

:: BunGEE Jumping::

What do Bungee Jumping & Prostitutes have in common?

With both pleasure lasts for 35 seconds and if the rubber breaks, you are fucked.

:: Teacher n Lil' Harry ::

Teacher asks: Why do buffaloes seem depressed when milked?
Little Harry: Mam, if someone rubs your boobs for two hours & doesnt fuck you, how would you feel????

:: 36ROSES ::

A Sardar gives 36 roses to his girlfriend, who thrilled, undresses,lies down, spreads her legs & says: "This is for the roses".

Sardar:"Why, Can't you find a vase?"

:: Sexual Thoughts for Today! ::

Its not the length,its not the size, its how many times you can make it rise! its not how well it fits but how often you can make it spit!!!!

:: 1liners ::

How many sardars does it take to pull off a kidnapping? Six. One to kidnap the victim and five to write the ransom note.

A sardar's response to the comment, "THINK about it!": "I don't have to think-I 'm sardar! "

A sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says " Hello, how did you know I was here?"

First Guy(proudly):"My wife's an angel".Second Guy:"Ure lucky, mine's still alive."

What is the sex organ of an elephant and why? His foot. Beacuse if he stamps on you, you are fucked.

Why did Gandhiji dislike making love to virgins? Unko khoon kharaba bilkul pasand nahin tha.

:: Brain Tumour - Humour ::

There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its marriage baraat.

So one of them asks Santa sing, "Singh saab, how come you are celebrating?"..... comes the reply :
"Its the first time that a sardar has died of "brain" tumour !!"

Highhhhhhh Way !

A sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile.then the foreman asked the sardar why he kept painting less each day,he replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can. "

:: Phone Book ::

A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I bor-rowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!" The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book."

:: 13th Floor ::

One day a sardarji was sitting in his office on The thirteenth floor building when a man came running in to his office and shouted "Santa singh your daughter Preeto just died in an accident" Sardarji was in panic. Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office window. While coming down when he was near the tenth floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground he remembered he was not Santa Singh.

:: Doctor & Ant ::

Wife to Doc: An ant entered my vagina. Please help and take it out.
Doctor removes her panty and starts making love to her.
Wife (angrily): What are you doing?
Doc: This is the only way. I will drown that bastard.

:: Dandia ::

What do you call a group of homos having sex? DISCO.
What do you call two homos having sex? DISCO DANDIA.
What do you call hundreds of homos having sex? LATHI CHARGE.

All About Sex!

Prostitute to man: "Hi, man, want to have sex?
Man to prostitute: Ok.Only if you do it like my wife does.
"Prostitute": I can do it in any way. Man " but she does it for free.

:: SARDARJEE n WIFE::

Sardar to sardarni:" Let's try something different, let me do it in your ear".

Sardarni:"Hohji, aur mein behri ho gayi to?"

Sardar:"Aaj tak goongi hui kya?"

:: Farmer ::

Farmer ordered a Milking Machine. Tried it on on his penis & had a wonderful orgasm, but could not remove it. So he read the manual & faints. It said," AUTO RELEASE AFTER 2 GALLONS".

:: A SAD STORY ::

A little boy was so jealous of his new born brother that he put poison on the nipple of his mom while she was asleep.

Now comes the sad part - the next day their driver died !!!!!

:: Cricket Jokes ::

* Q] Who is the best Indian batsman on the current tour?
A] Ajit Agarkar

* Q] What is the height of optimism?
A] Indian batsman putting on sunscreen.

* Q] What would Glenn McGrath be if he was a Indian?
A] An all-rounder

* Q] What is the main function of the Indian coach?
A] To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

* Q] Why is Kumble the unluckiest bowler on tour?
A] Because he was born in India.

* Q] What is the Indian version of a hat-trick?
A] Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

* Q] What do you call an Indian with 100 runs against his name?
A] A bowler.

* Q] What's the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Indian batsmen?
A] The walk back to the pavilion.

Just 4 Laughs :-))

Blog Started On Saturday May6th.'06

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