:: Ripley's Belive It Or Not ::

Contributed by Brian Tucker.

:: One Liners ::

Njoy the 1Liners for 2day !!!!
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Why are they called "hemorrhoids". They should be called "asteroids"?

When climbing the ladder of success, don't let boys look up your skirt!

My job is secure. No one else wants it.

Sometimes I wish life had subtitles!

I'd rather be driving a golf ball.

Don't judge a book by its movie.

People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

I'm in shape. Round's a shape, isn't it?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!

Joke Contributed by Jyoti, Banglore.

:: Tennis Mania ::

Can U Find a better Picture than this ?



Contributed by Dhruv.

:: Future Dollar Note ::

:: Top 10 Excuses 4 Falling asleep @ Ur Desk ::

"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"I wasn't sleeping, I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands."
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
"Amen"
"This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."
"Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper"
"I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress."
"This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
"Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"
"Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

:: Family Album ::

Contributed by Karthikeyan, Chennai.

G.H.O.S.T.S

Q: Who speaks on behalf of the Ghosts Union?
A: Their Spooksperson!

Q: What's a ghost's favourite food?
A: I-Scream!

Q: Did you hear about the love sick vampire?
A: He became a Neck-romancer!

Q: Where do ghosts go on holiday?
A: The Isle of Fright!

Q: What do you call a ghost who haunts the town hall?
A: A night mayor!

Q: How can you tell if a ghost is flat?
A: Use a spirit level!

Q: Why are ghosts such poor magicians?
A: You can see right through their tricks!

Q: Where does vampires keep their savings?
A: In the blood bank!

Q: What's a ghost's favourite airline?
A: British Scareways!

Q: What kind of ghosts do they have in hospital?
A: Surgical Spirits!

:: Bowl The Man Alley ::

:: Chicken Planting ::

An idiot decides to start up a chicken farm, so he buys a hundred chickens to get up and running. A month later he returns to the dealer to get another hundred chickens because the first lot had died. Another month passes and he's back at the dealers for another hundred chickens, "I think I know where I'm going wrong" he tells the dealer, "I think I'm planting them too deep."

:: World's Gr8est Idiots ::

Q: How do you keep an idiot busy for hours?
A: Give him a piece of paper with "Please turn over" written on both sides.

Q: How do you confuse an idiot?
A: Give him two spades and tell him to take his pick.

Q. Did you here about the idiot who won the 'Tour De France'?
A. He did a lap of Honour!

Q. Did you hear about the stupid tap dancer?
A. He fell in the sink!

:: Frog Leg Fry ::

:: Mirror Image ::

Two Blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar."

The second Blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first Blonde hands her the compact. She looks in the mirror and says, "You dumb ass, it's me!"

:: Did U Ever C This ? ::

Suicide !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If a blonde and a brunette were to jump off a top of a building..who would hit the ground first?

The brunette because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions!

= = = System Error 420 = = =

~ What do they Say ~

How are a blondes like spaghetti?
They squirm when you eat them.

What do you call ten blondes at the bottom of a pool?
An air bubble.

What do you call 10 blondes in a row?
A wind tunnel.

C@ctus Hit !

Joke Contributed by Srinivas.T

<< BlOnDe DiEt >>

A blonde was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet.

I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day. Repeat this procedure for 2 weeks.

"The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor. She had lost nearly 20 pounds.

"Why, thats amazing!" the doctor said. "Did you follow my instructions?"

The blonde nodded. "Ill tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."

"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor."

"No, from all that skipping!"

AOuuuuuucHHH !!

Beware of Gifts Next Time :)

* Jumbo Mumbo *

35 People and an Irishman were in a 4 engine jumbo jet heading over the Pacific Ocean, Suddenly, a Message is announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen Engine #2 has Died, We will be 30 mins late".

"Damn!" Said the Irishman, 10 mins later, "I`m sorry people Engine #3 has died, We`ll be 1 hour late".

20 mins later, "Every one, engine # 4 has died,sorry, We`ll be 2 hours late"
Suddenly the Irish man speaks out, "Bloody hell, If the last engine goes we`ll be stuck up here all day!!"

:: Fe-Male Obsession ::

Picture Contributed by Deepika.Y